A love/hate relationship…
I’ve mentioned in a couple of previous posts about a genetic problem in my family that leads to premature and progressive hearing loss. To date, the progressive loss I’ve experienced has been mercifully slower than my Father and Aunt’s loss.
I was first aware that I had a problem in the mid 90s but chose to muddle through and compensate for it by changing some approaches to how I communicated. It became more of an apparent problem when I was working for a global company and needed to make frequent conference calls around the world with colleagues who had a range of accents and varying levels of English. The big problem with hearing loss is not necessarily loss of volume but loss of clarity – factor in poor telecom device sound quality, background meeting noise, multiple way conversations, unfamiliar voices, strong accents and the need to think on your feet then these scenarios can become very frustrating and stressful. When it came to decide where I should take my career next, these experiences very much influenced my decision to leave but also made me determined to seek help.
In mid 2003 I was prescribed hearing aids. My onward experiences have been well documented by others who have late-onset deafness and are described by hearing disability professionals as the Kubler-Ross’ five stages of grief—denial and isolation, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.
Six years on I have finally reached ‘acceptance’ but it has been an immense inner struggle and very much taken a toll on my self-esteem, confidence and personality. During those six years I have experienced at varying points the intense frustration, paranoia and depression that often results from hearing loss.
Five things I hate about hearing aids…
1. That plugged up feeling – My ear canal area has always been sensitive and I hated wearing any type of in the ear headphones long before having to wear hearing aids so having my ears plugged with large lumps of plastic is akin to torture sometimes.
2. The phantom aid effect – If I wear my aids for even just one working day even when I take them out, I still have the sensation around and in my ears that I am wearing them for several days afterward.
3. Amplification and tinnitus – Even the advanced computer programmed aids that I have still over-amplify sounds – sometimes to painful levels. You go from the more peaceful world you’ve come to accept to a very noisy one again. Also the effect of pushing sounds into you ear and brain that they haven’t heard for a long time creates high pitched popping and squealing sounds in your head when the aids are removed – often making it difficult to sleep.
4. The responsibility– These things cost £1500 each. Losing or damaging just one could be likened to losing/damaging 5 iPhones or 15 pairs of nice glasses in one go. And given that the ear-mould is shaped to my ear and takes several weeks to replace and the aid itself is specifically programmed to my hearing loss pattern, it’s not as if I can pop into the local Tesco’s for a cheap pair of glasses or low cost phone to see me through.
5. They don’t work very well – This article from the US Wired magazine illustrates clearly that despite advances in digital technologies and micro-electronics in recent years, the claims of hearing aid manufacturers are somewhat exaggerated and the sound filtering abilities that would be a godsend are nowhere near as good as they need to be.
Five things I love about hearing aids…
1. They make it clear I have a problem – There has always been a stigma around hearing loss which is often driven by mis-interpretations of its impact as being to do with reduced mental capacity or psychological issues of depression and paranoia. Wearing an aid at least makes it clear to people that you do have a problem and are not a loony.
2. I can be me again – I muddled through and denied the problem for far too long and it impacted my personality. I have withdrawn from/avoided conversations and social interaction far too often in recent years, to the extent that I have no doubt become quite insular in my feelings and views.
3. They boost my confidence and self-esteem – Instead of pulling back and avoiding situations that I know I will struggle in, I can push myself forward with much more confidence than before and that has subsequently improved my self-esteem incredibly in the last year or so.
4. They let me fulfill my potential – Moving out of your comfort zone and taking on new challenges is important to learning and developing in the workplace but has often raised a dilemma for me in recent years where I’ve known that without hearing aids I would just be adding frustration and stress.
5. They make me easier to live with – Living and working with someone suffering hearing loss is often not easy as the need to repeat yourself can be infuriating and the sense that someone may not have understood what you said extremely irritating. Therefore, it is easier for everyone if the deafened person takes steps to address the issue rather than denying and avoiding it.
Hopefully this post goes some way to explaining the impact of hearing loss to others and some of the challenges presenting by hearing aids. I’ve seen many a debate about which of your senses you’d prefer to lose in such circumstances and I’m sure it very much depends on the type of person you are and what your interests and skills are. My father for instance is an architect, designer and artist so if he had lost his sight then it would have been far more devastating to his career and lifestyle – but equally there are those for whom social interaction and communication is everything.
However, to those who may equate wearing hearing aids to wearing glasses I say – give me those glasses for a day and I know I’ll still be happy come bedtime – wear my hearing aids for a day and I’ll guarantee they’ll drive you mad!
